Kids with roller shoes
Bathroom in NWPA
See, those are topic starters I had in mind for today.
I'll get to them later.
I have better things to discuss.
Like yesterday's rare double post. When I heard the horrible news, I had to do my part to show solidarity. If you don't get it, please move on. It made me cry I was laughing so hard. And if I can't use my corner of the internet to amuse myself, what good it is?
Let's talk about my hotel last night. I believe I remarked:
To make matters worse, I have to stay in a new hotel this week. The Res was booked as was the Courtyard. On the bright side, it allows me to post a new hotel review on TripAdvisor. That's always fun.
Yea...last night was not pleasant at all. I'm not sure if a tersely worded review on Trip Advisor will do it. I think Mr. Marriott himself is going to have to either blow me or toss my salad as an apology.
TownePlace Suites, Horsham PA.
Let's talk about you and why I had to check out after just one night in your wretchedness.
Check-in:
I arrived a little after 8:00. It was cold. I noticed that the hotel had at least 2 buildings. A sense of foreboding came over me. So, I went in and there was no check in desk. There was a tiny office with a desk and chairs. I've heard about a new trend in hotels where they're eliminating check in counters to put the customer closer to the experience. At one time, I thought it was clever. I no longer do.
Eddie Munster was behind the desk. I identified myself. He noticed I was a Gold Member (tracking towards Platinum by summer I'll add) and welcomed me to the hotel. I noticed a fat unkempt-looking man in another office behind us. He looked scary.
I was given a room in the building across the parking lot on the 3rd floor. I was told that the lobby offered breakfast to go in the morning. That did not sound good at all.
As I left, I noticed that the fitness room was in the main building. So, this meant that at 6:15 I was going to have to get dressed, coat and all, to trudge to the gym. Now, that's dedication. But, I could deal with it. I'm a big boy.
I walked over to my room and opened the door. I was immediately hit by an arctic blast of air. The A/C was cranked up to like 11 and the room was freezing. I went to the "heater" and cranked it all the way to hot. I then peed (not in my pants) but in the scary looking bathroom because I had to go REAL BAD.
At this point, I had a decision to make:
Kick up a storm and go back to the lobby to face Eddie Munster and complain.
Or just deal with it.
I knew this hotel was lacking in some amenities going in, but the Res and the Courtyard were booked solid. Even the Homewood Suites was booked, as was the Comfort Inn. This was it.
I decided to rough it, hoping the heat would fix itself. How cold was the room? Well, I took off my shoes and it hurt to walk on the carpeting in my socks because it was so cold. That's cold. To make it better, my suitcase had been in my bag all day and it never got above about 25 here all day. So, my clothes were frozen. I laid them out on a skanky-looking chair in front of the "heat" to warm them up.
At one point, I turned on the shower for 10 minutes just to generate warm air in the room. Then I noticed how bad the shower smelled.
But, I was fully vested at this point.
I called JewelrySlut to complain and then went to bed.
I dreamed of cigarettes last night. I get the feeling ex-smokers may do that from time to time when they dream. I am not an ex-smoker. What I am is a non-smoker who was sleeping in a bed that smelled like smoke. Nice. I am not kidding about that. It was odd.
At 12:30, I woke up sweating. The heat was on! I then had to get up to put the A/C on because it was so fucking hot. I noticed at that time that the people next door were still up. They apparently were also deaf. The TV was blasting.
At 4:30, I woke up frozen to death. Back to the wall to put the heat on.
I gave up sleeping at 6:00 and readied myself for the trudge to the gym. I got there to see one treadmill, a bike and a Stairmaster. The treadmill was being used so I opted for the bike. I noticed that it was not plugged in. I also noticed that it had no cord. So, I had a bike with no options for resistance. I took off my coat and warm-up pants and pedaled fruitlessly for 2 minutes. Realizing that this was fruitless, I gave up and went back to the room to find a new hotel.
The Res was still booked, as was the Courtyard. I called them directly, used the Gold Membership plea and also begged. Nadda.
I got AmEx travel on the line and they found me a place. YAY!
Feeling flush with my success, I decided to shower. I managed a shower despite the odor coming from the nozzle. The nozzle was one of those adjustable things, but it was stuck in "3 jets in the middle" mode. Kinda like showering with nails.
But, I got cleaned up and grabbed a towel. I noticed that when I unfolded it, the inside was brown. I also noticed the stray hairs attached to the towel and the stains on the walls.
EEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Fully horrified, I dried off using the white side of about 4 towels and packed. I went to the main building and checked the hell out.
This hotel has the nerve to associate itself with the Marriott brand. I don't know what I plan to do, but I'm doing something. I, and all employees of RedCompany spend a lot of $$ in Marriott hotels. I want payback.
Here's what I wrote to them:
My stay at the TownePlace Suites in Horsham PA on the night of January 29, 2007 was very disappointing.
I knew going in to lower my expectations from my usual experiences at either a Courtyard or Residence Inn. However, I did not expect any hotel associated with the Marriott Brand to be of such poor quality.
After checking inn and crossing the parking lot to get to my room in another building, I stepped into a virtual freezer. The A/C had been left running on full blast. The room took over 4 hours to re-heat. I decided that this was not justification enough to go to the front desk to make any noise. It was, at best, a minor inconvenience.
Over the next 10 hours, several other problems presented themselves.
The TV was broken
The shower stall and water smelled
The bedding smelled of smoke (so much so that I dreamed of cigarettes and I don't even smoke!)
The shower head was broken
The furniture was filthy
The exercise room (located in another building) was decrepit. It had 1 treadmill (in use), a broken exercise bike and a broken stair climber.
The final straw (and reason for my departure after only 1 night) was the condition of the bath towels. Having showered, I grabbed a towel only to find one side of it covered with hair. It was also brown. 2 other towels in the bathroom had the same problem.
I was disgusted. I knew that this was not going to be the nicest hotel I'd ever stayed in, but this was beyond bad. It was an embarrassment to the brand. Check my profile; I stay in Marriott hotels a lot. My company, RedCompany, lists Marriott-brand hotels as their preferred. This experience will not prevent me from staying in other Marriott hotels. I believe your brand to be a solid one that delivers a quality product. The Courtyard in Marriott is wonderful and their front desk staff is equal or better to any other hotel you have. However, I am disappointed in the TownePlace in Horsham and would never consider staying there again.
There is some good news though:
ChicagoGuy used his considerable pull at the Courtyard to get me in there for the next 2 nights.
The better news is that I may not need the 2nd night. Things are going so horribly here that I may be allowed to go home tomorrow night. There's a Southwest flight with my name on it leaving from PHL at 9:00.
Except! My boss just emailed me to say that if things aren't going well here, he'd like me on site in NJ for the rest of the week. Let's see...I can drive up to extremely northern NJ tomorrow night after I go do a vendor assessment down here. Then, on Thursday, I can be in the office until 1:00. Then, I get to make a 2 1/2 hour drive to PHL to go home. That sounds like a great use of my time! FUUUUUUCK!
But wait: He really wants me to go there tonight and stay until Friday. I apparently need more face time with the group. This will cost over $1000 once we throw away a plane ticket, buy another, change hotels and pay the dead heading fees to National for the car. Oh, and yea...I don't even have a desk in NJ any more. They took it away from me!
I want to fucking go home. I've absolutely had it.
Anyone hiring?
Update:
I got email back from Marriott. And I read:
Dear Mr. Daddy,
Thank you for contacting Marriott Customer Care regarding the TownePlace Suites Philadelphia Horsham. We appreciate the opportunity to address your concerns.
We received your information, and it has been forwarded to associates in the Executive Office of the hotel. Please accept our apology for the inconvenience you experienced. You will be contacted within three to five business days.
If we can be of further assistance, we invite you to reply to this email.
Thank you for choosing Marriott.
Regards,
Marriott Dude
Marriott Customer Care
Lotus Notes
A Reply!
Dear Mr. Daddy,
Thank you very much for taking the time to contact Marriott Guest Relations in regards to your stay last night in our hotel. I was very dissappointed to find that we did not meet your expectations while staying at our hotel! I will address all of the mentioned issues with all personnel of the hotel in tomorrow's morning meeting. It is unacceptable that my maintenance staff would let your guest room be in that condition, let alone the public areas of the hotel. I am also appalled that my housekeeping staff did not take care of the towels that were left in the room. Under these circumastances I do not believe that you should have been charged for the room at all! I have credited the entire stay back to the card that you gave at check in. As a token of my apologies, and in hopes that you will give us another opportunity to meet your expectations, I will also credit 8000 Marriott Rewards point to your account. I hope that you will use these points for a free night certificate at our hotel, and give us teh opportunity to better our service, but if that is not acceptable than please use them at your convenience.
Please let me know if there is anything else that you need, or if you have any plans to be in the Horsham/Willow Grove area again! Thanks again for the feedback it is important to improving our hotel!
Cordially,
LoserFace
General Manager
TownePlace Suites
198 Precision Dr
Horsham, PA 19044
215-323-9900
[email protected]