My adventures in bachelorhood are over. And, not a moment too soon.
I managed not to hurt myself in the time between Tuesday and yesterday, but not for lack of trying.
See, I locked myself out of the house on Wednesday. That's not a good thing to do when your wife is 500 miles away. Not that she'd have been able to do anything for me, seeing as her keys were in the house at the time. But, I locked myself out of the house and had to figure out a way back in. I'd done it a few weeks ago, but was smart/stupid enough to have left one of the basement doors unlocked. However, since then, I've always taken care to lock those doors. Oopps.
So, I was headed out to the Y for my noon-time anger relief valve known as a stationary bike. It does wonders for me when HealthCareRelatedCompany is making me want to cry. So, I gathered up my gym bag and phone. I also had some garbage to take to the dumpster. I locked the door, pulled it shut and stepped outside. No sooner than I got to my car, it dawned on me..."Hey asshole. Your keys are inside." Oh shit.
I had just closed the basement doors so I knew they were locked. Fortunately, after the last episode, JewelrySlut said that she would have used the ladder out back to climb up to the deck and hop over the railing and go in one of those doors.
(For reference, the house is on a hill. The basement is a walkout, but the deck that's off of the main floor of the house is one story above ground level. The doors from the deck are always unlocked.)
So, I trudged out back to get AP. AP is the name of our ladder. It was my grandfather's (his initials were AP) and is older than dirt. It's an old wooden ladder that has been living outside since June. Basically, it's not exactly the sturdiest of ladders, but it has sentimental value. This is also a good time to discuss the topography of the back patio. Under the deck is a cement slab. From the deck to the back of the little fenced in "yard" is a ground-level deck. The only problem is that there's a huge tree growing along one of the side fences and its roots have buckled the decking. It's quite slanty. In fact, we want to talk to our neighbor to get the tree cut down. We want to flatten the ground, rip out the decking and sod the little yard. We think it would be cute to have a little 12' X 12' piece of grass out there.
So, back to the ladder. I got it out, scraped off the growth, and put it alongside the deck. It was about as straight as Johnny Weir (I can't resist making Johnny Weir jokes). I scaled it and got to the top. The deck was within reach, but kinda farish away.
I'll also note that the deck is a little on the old side. When we moved in, it would sway back and forth when you walked on it. It was so bad that you'd almost get seasick on it. We had it reinforced from below, but it's still not exactly what I'd call sturdy.
I was scared of scaling the railing. I was quite sure that either my knee or the rail would go and I'd fall to my death. I climbed down and put the ladder under the deck. As I climbed it, I popped out from under it and was a lot closer to the railing. This was better, but not good. I still had to turn around and figure out how to climb over the railing. All the while, the ladder is wobbling and creaking. And, to make matters worse, there are 2 wooden crates on the deck that hold JewelrySlut's plants during the summer. I had to decide to either use them or kick them aside. I opted for "use". Not a good idea.
I was going to stack them up and step up to them from between the slats of the railing. I figured that would start me off higher, hence lessening the climb over the railing. So, I stacked them and stood on the top crate. It promptly started cracking. I guess it was never meant to hold me. I had visions of my foot falling through, me losing balance and falling. I'd be hanging by my stuck foot because the crate would somehow lodge up against the railing. In the end, I'd die.
So, I moved the crates aside. The only way I was doing this was all in one shot. I'd have to step off the ladder with my left leg (the bad one) and swing my right knee up and over the railing. I figured I had about .1 seconds to do this before the wood remembered it was rotting away in the North Carolina sun.
Somehow, I managed to do it. Judging from the pain that radiated out from my testicles, it was not a graceful move. But I made it and lived to see another day.
Yesterday I changed the locks on the front door and hid the spare key out back. I'll need it.
On another note, the job search seems to be going well. I had 2 interviews last week and expect call backs on both for 2nd interviews.
Company A is a small printer about 20 minutes away. They're looking for a production manager/ general manager. I'd have 10 people working under me and I'd have full authority over them. My background fits them well. I know their product mix and have a lot of experience with the vendor they use for their electronic storefronts. At my last job, I set up 3 of these "stores" and know their system inside and out. They seem like a good shop and want a person who, in the face of adversity, will work to solve problems through process improvement rather than going out to run a press. I've done that at HealthCareRelatedCompany, so I feel confident I could do it there. The whole "managing 10 people" thing is a little daunting though. That's where I have almost no real experience. I've done some supervising and managing, but never was the MAN. Here, I would be. The salary is good and the benefits and hours are also good. I think it would be a challenge, but life ain't supposed to be easy. They're growing and need someone to get the shop in order to be able to take on more production.
I went to Company I on Friday. They're a smaller printer than Company A, but are looking for a production manager also. They have a cool mix of products and are also growing. They seem a little more "fly by the seat of their pants" and I think they want someone to come in and corral things a little bit. They almost seem to be growing too quickly. They need to be better organized. I'd report in to a general manager, so I'm not entirely sure of the structure and what that person would do. But, they seem like a cool place and they're right up there from a technology standpoint. They print some cool stuff. They also have one HUGE, and I can't stress exactly how HUGE this is, thing going for them. They're 2 minutes from RDU and right in the flight path. You can almost see the people on the planes as they go overhead. I could see myself working there and saying things to myself like "Hmmm...that's odd. It looks like Continental 1226 is 3 minutes late today. I wonder why?" Or "The wind must be blowing from the West today because we're having fewer flights overhead." Basically, I'd be in airline nerd heaven.
Then, there's HealthCareRelatedCompany. I'm still scheduled to be let go at the end of June. I'm looking for a job now because, I'm probably going to be on the road for all of May and June and don't feel like doing all that if the end result is unemployment. Of course, on Friday, someone on the finance side of my project sent an email that got everyone thinking. RedVendor plans to charge us $200 per print job that requires someone to set it up and perform the data merge.
That's really my main job...setting up jobs like those. The vas majority of our work is mainframe-driven, so that step is taken care of in advance. But, I've been building an empire. See, last May, when they tried to do away with me, my customers went bonkers. If we go and tell them that it's going to cost $200 + the cost of the job to do the work that they get today for free, they'll go bonkers again.
RedHead and TiniVP were on the email on Friday. It essentially said "If we do the data merging ourselves, we stand to save $150000 per year". I called the guy and kinda broke the bad news to him. I had to tell him that I'm scheduled to be terminated in June and as I go, so goes the data merging. I didn't put this out there in an email; instead, I chose to sit and wait. I got the call at 4:30 from RedHead. Turns out that they all got their calculators out and realized that my salary and $150000 have a lot of dollars between them. They surmised that if they keep me, I can do the pre-print work and still save a lot of money. But...I don't know if I want the job anymore. I'm bored as hell lately and the project is sapping my life away. The mainframe people are not cooperating. The people who run the check writing programs are griping to their bosses that I'm bothering them. (When RedHead told me this I responded with "If they don't start working on this, their checks will not print. Do you understand? They will NOT PRINT. No checks = no HealthCareRelatedCompany.") The whole thing is a mess.
What I'd love would be to really learn more about jobs A and I. If one looks like a good fit, and were I offered a job, I'd take it. Hell, I may take one even if it's not a great fit and then go a-negotiating with the folks in NJ. Or, I could take one, and then tell HealthCareRelatedCompany that I'll do the pre-print work for them for $50 a pop. That would be the easiest $750 - $1000 a week I could hope for. I don't think they'd go for it, but it would be worth asking.
So, in a nutshell, things are looking good. The ladies are back and both look good after a week in the FLA sunshine.
Now I need to go start cooking dinner. I think I'm making some sort of Creole chicken and sausage stew. I have some chopping to do.