I�ve been noticing a few things about Raleigh and North Carolinians lately. And I�m not sure I like them (the things)
First: The people here are not very polite. Nice; yes. So nice that they�ll gab your ear off over anything. But, hold a door? Hell to the no. They�ll sooner slam it in your face that hold it for you. I happen to think that it�s nothing more than common courtesy to hold a door for any person who is 2 steps behind you going into a building. Every day, I have a person waltz right through. I�ve been hit by a few doors because, not paying attention, I expected it to be held for me. You should see the looks and praises I get when I hold doors. Shit, it ain�t no big thang. I guess maybe they smell the aloof Yankeetude on me.
Second: The drivers here are really starting to piss me off. A lot. They suck.
But, the roads are pretty cool. We live right near the intersection of a major East-West and North-South road here in North Raleigh. The E/W road is 2 lanes in each direction and the N/S is 2 or 3 in all places. When he was here, Merlot Man kept remarking on the roads. He could not believe that we had multi-lane roads. In northern NJ, it�s all one lane except if it�s a highway. Down here, they built the roads knowing people were coming. Smart folks. But, the lanes are a wee bit narrow. I think a standard lane of traffic is 12 feet wide. I think we have a lot of 10 footers. Reminds me of the Driscoll Bridge in NJ. Narrow lanes. So, there�s less wiggle room in the lane. Couple that with the fact that about 562 million assholes bought SUVs and pickups over the last 5 years and you have the potential for trouble.
Back to the drivers. They suck ass taint. And I think it�s because the average southerner is a blithering idiot. Face it, it�s a fact. (Exhibit 1 (Oh yes, I so did say that)) Throw them all a cell phone and disaster lurks. Throw them a big vehicle and it is lurkier. Then, put them in narrow lanes and we have ourselves a party. You have no idea how often I�m driving along, minding my business, marveling over how awesome Raleigh is when some assfucker in a pickup is suddenly lurching my way. Bubba is usually on his cell, likely talking to The Sports Pig about wanting to get man-raped by JJ Redneck or something. Bubba then lurches at me and then lurches away into the lane on the other side. Bubba is also good about coming to a complete stop before he turns (often sans blinker). I like that one, especially when he�s turning right on the other side of the road and I�m trying to determine whether or not I can make a left into t he same street (A skill that I�m learning...seeing as left hand turns are illegal in NJ). Know what else Bubba likes to do? He likes to be in the far left turning lane (#1 going left to right) and make a right, cutting across lanes 2-5. Same applies for left turns from the right turn lane. I like that one a lot. I need to buy me a gun.
I knew how to handle driving in NJ. There was a pattern to the randomness of it all. Basically, if there were more than 2 inches between you and the car in front of you, no matter your speed, you needed to expect that another car would try to occupy it. It was a fact of life and you could plan for it. Here�no pattern. You�re driving along and suddenly, you have someone on top of you for no good reason other than the fact that his inbred moonshine-addled brain can�t handle driving and talking at the same time.
***fuckshitgoddamhoar**
That was all written yesterday. I van never get through an entry all in one sitting.
Where was I? Right..nowhere�
Moving on�
I couldn�t get it done yesterday because I have received yet another set of work-related marching orders. Guess who�s leaving on a jet plane again? I get to spend all of next week in Sunny NJ. Woohoo! Up on Monday AM and back on Friday afternoon. A fun-filled week of meetings and planning. We need to cram 120 days worth of shit into the next 78. I�m so excited. If there�s nothing I love more than corporate feet dragging, it�s corporate feet dragging.
I need to shop today and tomorrow as a result. I need luggage. All I have is one small rolling bag. It�s fine for a 2 night trip, but it�s winter and clothes tend to get bigger in the winter. Plus, I�ll need to pack sneakers to wear to the hotel gym�need to keep rehabbing. Plus, all we have is an assortment of huge duffel bags for our luggage. It�s high time we get some real bags. Plus, there are sales galore this weekend.
I also think it�s time to join the digital age and get me a PDA. I need a way to get to my phone numbers and notes without booting the laptop up and I guess that�s the way to do it. I�m going out this afternoon to get it. I dread getting one because I hate the people who are always ticking away at them in public places, while on their Bluetooth thing, while wearing neatly pressed Dockers. Ugh�makes me want to puke. Off I go to further my training as a digital asshole! I�m keeping it simple and getting a pretty basic Palm. I don�t need the ability to watch movies or take pictures or play music or cook dinner�I need addresses and phone numbers and notes. I�m so wicked old school.
One programming note:
Since it�s about to be my favorite season of the year (College Hoops season), you may notice this mess taking on a slightly sportish tone. If you don�t like it, fuck off. But I think I need to stir up some basketball fever here.
For the record:
Went to Rutgers but they suck so never really liked them.
Did not go to UConn but have followed them since 1990 and am a lunatic fan
Hate North Carolina
Viscerally Hate Duke.
I can�t tell you how much I hate Duke. I�m getting angry just typing their name.
One Shmuppieism for the road:
Last night�dinner time�Shmuppie is getting a head start on things because, as I say, she evolves into dinner.
So, the 2 of us are in the kitchen getting our dinners ready and Shmuppie�s at the table�eating spaghetti by hand.
JewelrySlut: Hey Shmuppie! Think maybe you could try using your utensils?
Shmupipe: No, I�ll use my handtensil