2005-12-12 - 2:59 p.m.

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I wasn�t going to post today, but now feel the need.

A woman at work just asked me if we could put the address of the person we�re mailing to on the back of the letter. Apparently there�s no space on the front. Sure. We�ll use magic paper or something. Jesus, sometimes I wonder about people.

Can I ask a few almost serious questions about 2 of my least favorite things to discuss here (religion and politics)?

Down here some loonybin church is crusading against people saying �Happy Holidays�. That�s apparently bad. Apparently, if you belong to said church, you should boycott any store that does not have �Merry Christmas� signs. OK�that makes sense�unless you�re Jewish. Then I realized that I live in NC and down here we all know that the Jews are subhuman and should be treated so, right? I think that was in my Welcome to The South kit that we got back in June. It was on the page opposite the rules and regulations for lynching uppity Neeegroes.

When exactly did the Christian faith become so evil?

Then, while I was at the MRI place the other night (not really all that bad except for the rattling feeling in my head. I think the magnets were fucking with my fillings) I read that my pals at the Vatican have now outlawed gay people from entering the clergy. Apparently, even if you pledge celibacy, it�s still bad to be gay. Because, apparently, a gay man can not present a strong enough masculine profile or something. I give up on The Church, I really do. The Catholic Church makes me sick. Let me get this straight, a religion founded on love and forgiveness now wants us to start excluding and not loving people? OK�no wonder I don�t go to church.

And finally, I also read that Ford and its other nameplates are pulling ads out of gay publications because of protests from�yup�you guessed it�Christians! Because, apparently, if Ford didn�t listen, they were all going to boycott. Does anyone ever boycott things when they threaten to do so? If you did, you�d have nothing to buy. Then again, that may be the plan; don�t spend the money�give it to the church instead.

Ugh�Merry Fucking Happy Holiday Season.

So, I have to work on my Last Diaryland Will and Testament. I�ll be giving things away from my life to those in need. JewelrySlut will just have to deal with the fact that I�m giving away stuff that she may need in my absence. Then again, she�ll be so happy to have me gone that she won�t mind.

Tomorrow, I have a physical to make sure that I won�t drop dead during surgery.

JewelrySlut plans to slip the Doctor a palmful of sweaty change in order to get him to shove his fist up my ass.

Then, she wants to slip another person another palmful of sweaty change to have them shave my balls on Thursday.

Then, one more palmful of sweaty change to the anesthesiologist to have him kill me.

I can�t wait.

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