2005-12-07 - 2:39 p.m.

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Hi.

Let me start by saying this (and be prepared for it to come out not quite right)

I feel bad for Clarity. And it�s more than the whole German Dentist (which I happened to find amusing because I didn�t have to go to a German dentist). I feel bad because some buttlick emailed her a scolding because she used bad words while telling her dental tales. So, Clarity, being a very nice person, went back and changed her old entry. I feel bad for 2 reasons: 1 because she had to deal with the buttlick in the first place. 2: because she felt compelled to change her entry in order not to offend that or any other buttlicks. Clarity, you�re too nice. I think that�s why I like reading your diary. It�s a pleasant contrast to this place or say�this place or maybe even this place. You�re a very nice person and try very hard to be so. I commend you for being so. I�m pretty much an asshole because it�s the path of least resistance.

So, moving on�

I�ll try to be nice for a little while.

I like it here. I like all my dopey internet friends (and you�re not all getting links�remember the whole path of least resistance thing mentioned earlier). I like knowing that there are other twisted fucks out there with the same sense of humor as I. I also like that a lot of you are waaaay funnier than I am. I treat it as a challenge. You guys are cool.

OK�back to our regularly scheduled programming

I�m down here yesterday afternoon on a conference call. JewelrySlut is in the shower. Shmuppie got up from her nap and came downstairs to see me. I kinda shooed her away and she sat in her playroom, reading. Well, that was a bad idea. JewelrySlut got dressed and came down only to hear Shmuppie announce �I pooped�

FUCK!

She�d had one accident in like 2 weeks and no poop in her underpants in forever.

FUCK!

So, I decided to win the NoGoodDaddy award for 2005. All you other NoGoodDaddys�there�s a reason I get the name and you don�t.

This is the reason:

After dinner, I came down here, picked up my cell and called upstairs�

As Santa.

(Who�s cringing right now?)

Yup�I did it.

Santa told Shmuppie that he was sad and maybe wasn�t coming to see her because she still went potty in her pants. The kid prattled on about how she wants a bear and musical instruments and Santa had to tell her again that he might not come to see her. I think Santa got through to her. I hope Santa got through to her. When I went back upstairs I asked who was on the phone and was told that Santa had called and told her to go potty on the potty (same word�2 meanings) or he would not come.

Mean?

Yes.

Effective?

We�ll see. I�ll do anything at this point. She was close. All we had to do was get the overnight under control and we were home free. Then, BAM. Back to square 1. The kid�s too content to just sit in her own piss and shit. It�s got to be sooo gross!

We also took her Christmas picture last night. It went well. 2 years ago, I think I took 60 pictures to finally get one that almost looked good. I only needed 8 this year and we got the winner on #7.

Here�s the one that didn�t make the cut:


And here�s the winner


We like it.

Well�I should be working or something right now or at least looking for a new job. Thanks to everyone posting suggestions and encouragement. I have a good feeling about down here. We came to Raleigh, in part, because of the job market. I like what I�m seeing out there even though it�s early December, not a good time to job hunt.

We�re going out to buy Christmas trees tonight. Pic(k)s of Booger Mt tomorrow.

Damn�that�s going to be funny for roughly ever.

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