2005-10-19 - 2:38 p.m.

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Update on the flooding:

Seems I may need to clarify�

We could have gone after the HOA (Home Owners Assoc) for the damages because the blockage was in the sewer line that they �own and control�. However, likely to keep dues down, our members got what is probably the cheapest insurance plan on Earth. Hence the $5000 deductible. Turns out we could have filed with them and gotten like $50 back.

So, Allstate covered us under our normal policy because it was a line blockage, not a backup. There, apparently is a difference and that difference means we got checks written to us.

What we have in our house is a drain in the floor of the basement storage room. I guess when the main line clogged; it was the only open line for the water to flow through. My father in law sent me information on a 1-way valve that you can get for a floor drain. Looks like we�ll get one.

And today, the HOA sent us all letters advising not to flush pons, pads and the like because they cause flooding. Nicey nice. Next week, we get a letter imploring us to share at snack time.


If you want an 80�s music bonanza, email me your address and be prepared to send me swag. I do nothing because I�m nice. Everything has a price. Used Hawaiian shirts, hard to find Buffett CDs and porn are always good gifts.


So�I�m just back from the pool. I tried to get up at 6:30 this morning, but couldn�t move my arms. We painted last night and I was working up near the ceiling. The extra arm raising was enough to do the trick I guess. Holy Hell was I in pain. So, by around noon, I felt better so I actually took a lunch hour and went for a dip,

Ouchies.

I don�t remember it being this bad ever. Then again, I never went 13 years between real swims. My arms are so tired and out of shape that I can�t even properly pull through on my stroke (heh heh heh�stroke). But, this is but the first 2 steps on a looong journey so I expect serious pain to come before it gets better. I did a little more distance today but plan to take it easy. It sucks when you finally start realizing that you�re not young anymore. You may think you are, but you�re not. There�s a lot of road between 17 and 31.


The painting last night went well. The playroom needs 5 minutes of touchup and it�s done. Tonight we�re priming the back wall of the office. The cement I had to patch it up with is finally dry. We also have to prime the shelves for the family room bookcases. That�s going to be a bitch because there are 22 shelves and each side needs 2 coats of primer. That�s 4 days of work. Shit. We�ll also probably paint one of the walls of the office blue and maybe get the family room cabinets painted in the same blue. I�d love to be done painting this weekend. I think we can do it. I�m taking Friday off so we�ll have 3 full days to paint.

So, I�ve been thinking�

It�s OK to cringe at that.

Please let me reach down and get out my Big Paintbrush of Generalizations.

Ugh�fucker�s heavy

Let�s talk.

Rednecks vs. White Trash

Since arriving down here, I�ve been doing me some observin�. Back in NJ, I was raised in Honky McHonkyville. Everyone looked the same, dressed the same, and behaved the same. Not a lot of diversity. Then, we lived in Warren County, a not quite as nice as Honky McHonkyville, but still in the same spirit. We had some yokels, but not too many.

Now we�re here.

Here�s my thought on Rednecks and White Trash. This may come as a �Duh, NoGoodDaddy� moment to some, but I�m learning to embrace, or at least notice, diversity:

Redneck: This may not be a bad thing to be. I�d bet that if you called a Redneck a Redneck, he�s look at you, spit and say �Yup�. We have a bunch living down the row from us. There may be 37 people living in this 3BR unit. I have no fucking clue because they�re always coming and going, in and out of their beat to shit Ford F250. They talk funny, sit outside and drink beer from a can, spit, and are constantly toting around lumber and building materials. I have NO CLUE where all this shit comes from. They don�t have a basement; we looked at a comparable model, and there�s not a lot of storage. But, nevertheless, they produce building material in there. However, they�re quiet and keep to themselves. We stopped trying to say hi to them a while back because they categorically ignore us. Yankee scum that we are; we probably deserve it. But, they have Buffett stickers on the truck, so I can�t complain. They, in my opinion, are Rednecks. I don�t want to know them or talk to them, but harmless nonetheless.

White Trash: I think this is a bad thing to be. If you call someone White Trash to their face, you should be prepared to duck because bullets are coming. They represent the unit at the other end of our cluster. These people are just filth. They also drive beat up vehicles, but they also dress like God knows what, are loud and vulgar, and don�t seem to have any manners at all. We have Winnie and her 2 kids living down the way. Winnie, originally from NYC, is a mess and a half. She�s always strutting about in short shorts and a cropped top. The problem is that she has the body of an overstuffed sausage that spent the 80�s fucking guys along the East River. Rolls of skin abound. She likes to wash her shitcar and pose suggestively. When she does, I go sterile for a little while. She�s got a son who may or may not be a retard. She has a daughter who may or may not be a whore. It�s hard to tell with either. They�re just awful people. Her retard son has taken up with some new kids in the complex. These are the kids I had to throw out of the pool back in August. If it weren�t for the fact that the neighborhood is definitely less safe with them all around, I�d find it funny. The older kids use retard to perform their mischief and he�s fucking dumb enough to do it. They smashed up a little girl�s bike recently because she left it outside. They fuck around in the pool and generally cause mayhem. I�m waiting to have to run out of the house, bat in hand, threatening to kill them all. I can�t wait. It had better not be on a day when I�m sore from swimming. But, Winnie the fatwhore watches this all and belches and yells. I can only imagine what their house smells like. These people are at the bottom rung of society. I think if we�d seen them in action when we were looking here, we may not have bought this place. Maybe we can get the evicted. We know their landlord. That would be sweet. In fact, their landlord also rents to the Red Necks. Double sweet.

Now, did any of that make sense? I never really knew there was a difference between the 2 groups. There apparently is. I�d guess that you can fall into both groups, but one does not want to be White Trash. They�re just that.

I guess I should say something funny before I go in case I offended anyone. Then again, if I offended you in that last paragraph, I don�t even know what you�re still doing here. I should have offended you months ago.

This isn�t funny, but points to my mother�s increasingly slim grip on reality. Monday, she tells JewelrySlut that she wants to take her and Shmuppie to Disney after Thanksgiving to see the Christmas decorations. OK� I was charged with planning the trip. Well, first thing I had to do was make it a trip for 4, not 3. There is NO WAY in hell that my kid�s going to WDW for the first time without me. We may have cooled off our WDW obsession, but not that much. So, I ran the numbers and it came to $2300-$2500 before we even ate anything. That was airfare, hotel, rental car and admission. My mother apparently didn�t think it would cost that much. I think she had about $1000 in mind. Well, let�s see. If we all walk to FLA and sleep on the street and promise not to eat, then we are so there. I like it when she forgets how much things cost. It must be nice to be rich and never have to worry about money. Despite that, she�s not forking up that much cashola and we�re in no mood to spring for a trip that we could take or leave. We�d rather re-do the kitchen.

Well, she arrives in 2 days. I can�t hardly wait.

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