I love work�really I do.
I love work because of shit like this:
I have a letter to print and mail to a bunch of people. I was reviewing the addresses because the person sending me the job fucked it all up. I happened to notice a lot of addresses in New Orleans. Now, being the uber-smart print and mail man that I am, I know that there�s all kinds of shit going on with NOLA addresses.
So, I ask: Hey folks, what�s the deal with those NOLA addresses? Has anyone looked at them to see if any will get to the destination? Have you applied the new temporary zip codes?
I was told: It�s the responsibility of the individual program owners to verify.
Me: Ummm�great. But did you actually do it, you whore? Or are you just ducking the question? Thanks.
Or this one:
Email to me from MarketingCumSlut: NoGoodDaddy, how much will this job cost to run?
Me: Nothing. Just pay the postage. I�m not going to charge you.
MarketingCumSlut: (Emails RedHeadedWhoreWhoLikesFacials(AndIDon�tMeanTheSpaKind) to complain that her job will be free.
Me: ?
RedHeadedWhoreWhoLikesFacials(AndIDon�tMeanTheSpaKind): Sets up meeting to chide me about it.
Me: What. Ever.
MarketingCumSlut: (in another email) How much will this job cost?
Me: $.059 per package plus postage
MarketingCumSlut: Oh�I�m not sending you this job. Mostly because I can�t read and don�t know what specs I asked you for in the first place
Me: I love my job
So, how�s the template? I think I like it. I don�t think I�m doing the HTML in the best way, but it�s being done in a way that works. SomeoneWhoseNameIWon�tMention says she�ll build me a new one.
Tapping foot and waiting with my hands all on my hips like a feyg.
Speaking of. SomeoneWhoseNameIWon�tMention, she mentioned how much fall in NC is awesome. Well, I was waiting for a while. We had been socked in under cloud cover for over a week, with a steady drizzle falling. It was rather NJ-esque and I was cranky.
Then, we had yesterday.
Wow�.high 70�s and not a cloud in the sky. This must be what they�re all talking about. Since they repaved the parking lot yesterday, all the cars had to leave. So, at 5:00, Shmuppie and I went out to play soccer in the nice big open space. That was hella fun.
The basement charges on. The carpet people are coming Tuesday to measure and let us pick out new stuff. We should be seeing estimates for other damages in a day or 2. We have until November 10 to get the basement re-carpeted and repainted. (Why did I hyphenate only one of those words?). Our storage thingie was only for a month and I don�t want to pay any more than I have to (Not like we had to pay anyway because the insurance is picking it up). So, I�m happy with how it all turned out, but do intend to write to my agent or his boss to say that telling a coveree (am I a coveree or just the covered person) that it�s a waste of breath to call in a claim is totally uncool.
We�re buying paint this weekend and will start our assault. I expect much fun to not happen.
Speaking of much fun not happening, my Mother�s likely coming down next weekend. She�s been wailing about not seeing Shmuppie for so long�but won�t spring for the ticket. She keeps waiting for the Super Sale on Continental and it only seems to come when she can�t come. So, she�s hoping for it this coming week, or she�s going to try to buy the full fare ticket�$500+. Good for her.
OK, folks�more P0rN for sale.
I owe Nightmarethe latex lips/pussy/microphone (ask Shmuppie)�assuming that is that I can find it. I remember throwing it in a box last Saturday during the flood, but haven�t seen it since. It�s coming..I promise. Then you can.
Today, for sale, we have up to 10 �Kiss O� Mint� flavored, unlubricated condoms. We opened one up to see how it tasted and nasty is a word that came to mind. They do, however, make awesome minty-smelling balloons.
They�re the perfect accessory for a HOAR with an oral obsession or perhaps for a DirtyGirlFromHoustonWhoNeverSentMeAnythingInReturnForGetting10HoursOf80�sMusicAndAPouchOfLube.
Not that I�m holding a grudge. I send P0rN because I love you all.
As usual�tempt me with something useless like a CAT scan or Dialysis treatments and I�ll see what I can do. You don�t have to win all 10. IF you offer me something shitty, I may send you only 1 or 2.
Ooh�one last thing. I love my little �Who clicked on me and where are they from Map thing�.
Who the hell here is from Alaska?
Is that dot Alice Springs or Coober Pedy? If it�s Coober Pedy, I will send you something no matter what you offer me. I mean, come on�Coober Friggin Pedy. How cool is that? I guess if it�s Alice Springs, I can send you something, but it won�t be as cool.
And, Meany is that you in Florida? Yes, asspouches, I know she�s in Iraq, but CENTCOM is in Tampa and maybe that�s where she routes through�jeesh.
Oh�one more thing and then I promise to shut up.
If when you go poopies, it�s called defecating (much better if you say it �DE-FEEcAAAting), is the process of making the poopies in your colon called FEEcating?
Lately, I�ve been announcing that I�m done FEEcating. JewelrySlut knows to get the gas mask when I say that.
I wonder about this stuff.