I�m too restless. I also can�t leave well enough alone when it comes to �well�everything.
Case in point: I convinced HealthCareRelatedCompany to let me keep my job after we moved. They even have extended me through the end of March 2006. So, of course, I hate my job and want a new one. Jackass that I am, I�m looking to leave and go get a real job where I�d likely be required to wear both pants and socks. I�m an asshole. Work is so boring lately that it�s killing me. I�m usually done for the day by 9:00AM. I�ve taken to sleeping until at least 8:00 because I have nothing better to do in the morning. This stupid job is feast or famine. I feasted for July and now it�s famine time. And, my boss is having me do shit that I have less than no interest in doing. What little work I have is spent writing SOPs and creating charts. Basically, shit that I hate doing because I believe it to be pointless.
The geniuses at HealthCareRelatedCompany believe that everything and everyone should have an SOP. They don�t pay you to think, they pay you to do what your SOP says. It�s really al lot of fun. I have tried to tell people that you can�t always put what you do down into a series of steps. Sometimes, you need to be able to think a process out and do it. Nope�that don�t work. So, I get to write SOPs for things that have no meaning. I don�t like work like this. I like work where I can see results for what I do.
Ugh�
So, I stated cold-emailing local printing companies to get them my resume and information. I also contacted a local travel agency. Everyone tells me I should be working in the travel industry. I�d happily do that work from this computer and do my non-work for HealthCareRelatedCompany from the laptop. Then, I could see how the travel thing goes while still making money from my real job. That could be cool. We kinda have the financial freedom to let me try it out for a while. That�s nice.
There seem to be a bunch of small to mid sized printing places within 10 miles of here. All look like they�d be much better off with a genius like me working at them. We shall see.
As I send out my pornographic gifts, scary things are happening. I�m sending and getting emails from people so we can exchange gifts. I don�t think I like knowing people�s real names. It�s scary. Am I the only one who thinks this?
Who wants to make fun of me and call me mean names?
Oh, you do.
OK�here�s some ammo.
Last night, because she loves me, JewelrySlut ripped all the hair off of my back. Yup�I was waxed.
I�ll wait�
�
�
�
�
Done yet?
She did it last summer before we went to St John because I look like a Wookie when I take my shirt off. The whole back hair thing is gross. I�m normally not vain or give half a shit about my appearance, but having hair long enough to braid on my back is plain gross. I�m right�right? She bought that Nad�s shit and ripped me to shreds. It does feel nice though. No hair poking out of my shirt collar. That�s a good thing.
Yea�I�m a major loser. I know it, but I�m OK with it.
Speaking of hair�I need a new razor. This should not be a problem, but, as we know, I�m an asshole. I hate�repeat�HATE spending money on myself. I see it to be pointless. Hence, my wondrous wardrobe. But, the electric razor I use is dying and doesn�t cut hair as much as it cuts face. And, yes, I am a feyg for using an electric razor. It�s not my fault. I blame my father. When I started needing to shave, he and I didn�t speak. Also, being Catholic and all, puberty was bad. It was the devil�s work. So, I couldn�t ask anyone else for help in learning to shave. Fortunately, there was an old electric razor in my bathroom. I think it had been my grandfather�s and somehow made its way to my bathroom after he died. So, I started using it because I knew I couldn�t hurt myself with it. As a result, I shave with an electric thingie. So, I need a new one. And, since I�m reluctant to spend money, I�ve been scouring the interweb to find a cheap one. I think I have it found, but can�t press �Buy�. I�m too much of an ass. JewelrySlut�s ready to kill me (for this and many other reasons). She�s going to slap me if I don�t buy it soon. I really need to do this before I scrape my face off.
These are my troubles, folks. I never said I was interesting.
I�m sick.
***Side note***
I am a horrible patient. I�m quite a baby when I�m sick. I avoided being sick last winter, but ask JewelrySlut what I was like from September 2003-June 2004. She�ll need a drink first.
***end of side note***
So, we all had colds last weekend. Well, I thought mine was gone. WRONG! As usual, it seems to have settled into my chest. If I don�t go to a Dr. today, I�ll have bronchitis by tomorrow and pneumonia by Tuesday. That�s how I do it. All ailments settle into my chest causing me to wheeze and cough up brown shit. So, I had to find me a doctor this morning. That�s always fun. And, because I�m a xenophobic Nazi, I don�t want an Indian doctor. Sorry. If wanting to be able to communicate clearly with my healthcare providers makes me racist, so be it. I�m sure the Indian doctors do a wonderful job, but I want to make sure that my insanities are understood. Instead, I got a doctor who went to Duke. Ugh�I fucking hate Duke. Really fucking hate it. I think, just to be a dick (I actually spelled it �disk� this time), I�ll wear my UCONN 1999 National Championship shirt this afternoon. If he gets it, I�ll know he�s an OK guy.
Then, we�re going to this thing they have in Raleigh called a �library�. Have you heard of these things? Apparently, you go there and get a �library card�. Then, you can �check out� books for a while and then return them. What the fuck is this? We didn�t have these in Warren County, NJ. No we didn�t. Since I have no work to do, I�ve been re-reading all my books�again�this summer. I need new shit to read.
And, lastly, tomorrow, I�m headed to my brother-in-law�s house to help him install ceiling fans. Nothing I like better to do on a Saturday morning than install ceiling fans. But, it wouldn�t kill me to be nice to him�seeing as him and his family are all we have within 500 miles of here�
One last thing to wrap up this disaster of an entry.
Reason 45 to love Raleigh:
Heineken.
It�s cheap here. Like cheaper than Canadian or Mexican beer. Back in NJ, a 12 pack of Heinies would be at least $16. Hence, we never bought it. Here, it�s under $12. Awesome. Doubly awesome when you consider that Heineken is the best beer on the planet. I think it�s so cheap because nobody here knows what it is and the distributors just want to deplete inventory to make space for more PBR.