So, an eventful past few days at the NoGoodHouse.
Before, I go any farther, I have to thank Warcry for the awesome party this past weekend.
What?
The party�s this coming weekend? Oh�well�my mother doesn�t need to know the difference. The party last weekend kept her in NJ and away from us. By the way, I didn�t think that strippers would have been appropriate for a 4 year-old�s birthday party, but I was soooo wrong. I really need to let go of my Northern insecurities and embrace the South.
So, after opening up the house on Thursday AM, we closed it up at night and fired up the AC. On Friday morning, it was hot in the house. The air said it was on, but no cold air was blowing. I looked outside and the compressor was not running. We had hot air coming out of the vents. So, I called our home warranty assholes (they don�t even get a link because A: I�m lazy and 2: I hate them). They could get someone to the house on Tuesday (today). That would not do. ChurchBomber was coming and she�d be unhappy in the 100 degree house. I called every AC person within 5 miles of the house. One could come on Saturday. That wasn�t great, but was better than Tuesday. I called another guy and he said that he could be here in 15 minutes. Suhweet. Of course, the guy spoke almost no English. Whatever. He got to the house and found that the compressor was OK (Praise Jeee-SUS). He then noticed that the secondary condensation line had been running and it tripped the system. The primary was clogged. He tapped into it, blew compressed air in, and it cleared. We had air.
On Saturday AM, we went to a light store to get a fixture for our hallway. I think I installed it without one curse. That�s good for me. We went to RDU (haven�t been there in a while) to get ChurchBomber. We then went to our favoritest Mexican place and had drinks and dinner. When we got home, JewelrySlut had a beer and I opened up the big bottle of white I had bought. Over the course of the next hour and a half, the beer and all the wine was consumed by the 2 of them. I was pounding rum drinks, so we all were nice and drunk. It was good times.
Sunday arrived and Shmuppie came to wake us up. I went downstairs to start coffee a-brewin�. ChurchBomber came down first and announced that she needed a fistful of Advil. JewelrySlut came down shortly thereafter and looked like she needed some. I had avoided a hangover. I think it was because I had been taking Advil by the fistful for the previous 36 hours because I had tweaked my back again. So, I made sure to keep things quiet as the 2 of them suffered the morning away.
I had decided to make some seafood goodies for dinner. I went to the store and got shrimps, scallops and mahi mahi to throw on the grill. I also made a lovely rice recipe that required 4�count them�4 teaspoons of cumin. Sheeyat�I was in heaven (or at least what I want heaven to be). The rice was awesome. I should post the recipe so anyone who wants a little cum�in their dinner can have some.
I was skewering my shrimp and realized, as I always do, that the skewers I buy don�t fit in my marinating tray thingie. So. I send JewelrySlut downstairs to get my clippers so I could trim them down. She came up and announced that the storage room was filled with water and it seemed to be coming from the primary condensation line.
Oh
Fuck
I flew downstairs and, lo and behold, there was water all over the place. I looked at the little hole in the floor where the primary drains (will someone tell me why they never tied it into the main sewer line???) and it was all clogged up with slimy shit. The luggage was soaked, the floor was soaked, some boxes were wet, and the area under the stairs (home of the litter box) was soaked. I was not happy. I started sopping up water and trying to move wet items out to the patio. Fortunately it was 99 degrees and it would all dry quickly. I got to the hole and scooped up a big pile of goop. It was smelly and gross.
Reason #96251 why I love NC.
We called a local plumbing company. Mind you, it�s 6:00PM on a Sunday. The company happens to be owned by a neighbor. The dispatcher sent someone over and we had a guy at the house within 20 minutes. We brought him downstairs and he looked it over. He had be bleed out the hot water heater. It drains into the same hole in the floor. Turns out, the goop was the problem. Once I got it all out of the way, the clog cleared and we were flowing smoothly. The guy told us he wouldn�t charge for the visit. He�d just leave.
Excuse me�you came to my house on a Sunday evening and don�t think it�s right to charge me? What? Hello?
Shit�these people are nice. I had to pry $25 into his hand. He wouldn�t take it. I told him to buy the crew a round of beers or something, but he had to take something.
I tell ya, the people are almost too nice.
From time to time, it scares me half to death.
So, the cleanup went well. We just have to put a few things back today and all will be as normal as it can be.
On another note, since we got here, we�ve been Not Potty Training Shmuppie. I say Not because she�s not digging it. She�ll pee on the potty, but is also happy to piss herself. We will NOT shit on the potty. She�ll tell us she has to go, sit down, grunt a little bit and quit. We put her diaper back on and BAM�shit.
Not fun.
Her latest gag is to shit in the pool.
No�it�s not that bad. She does wear swimmie diapers. Still, it�s pretty fucking gross. She did it again last night. So, we took her to the bathroom down by the pool, stripped her and took her home. Fortunately, there�s never anyone in the pool when we go. Otherwise, it could be bad. So, last night, she got no TV and we�re not going to the pool today. Next time she does it, I�m punching her in the fucking face. JewelrySlut and I are very tired of this. She knows she�s not supposed to do it, but does it anyway because she�s a little pain in the ass.
Ah�parenthood.