Shockingly, I think I�m cranky this morning. I have good reason. Really, I do.
My back is achy. I don�t know why, but my upper back feels funny. I think what it needs is to crack. I tried to twist and turn yesterday to crack it, but it won�t go. I need a Chinese lady to walk on it. Tell me why I didn�t think of that before I strangled the hooker in my hotel room last night.
I�m tired. For this, I blame travel, JewelrySlut and, lastly, me. Me because I was up until midnight. I was up late because I was at MerlotMan and ChurchBomber�s house late last night�doing a fantasy football draft. For some reason, our league scheduled our draft for 10:00 at night. I couldn�t miss it, and the internet Nazis blocks the sites on my laptop. So, I had to go crash with them again. They love me. They see more of me now than when I lived up here. I blame JewelrySlut because she�s so delightfully cuddly and boobieliscious. (And, no, I�m not sucking up for the cake picture. She agrees with me on this one. Except, I�m not boobieliscious. I�m more Wookieliscious) neither of us sleeps at all when we�re apart. At least, she�s got BED. That�s right; our bed gets ALL CAPS and doesn�t need an article. It�s BED. If you had one like it, you�d know. However, BED is not fun if you�re alone in it. I blame travel because it�s easy. And it sucks nut. Travel has me still here in NJ today when I have NOTHING to do. I think I�m going to try to move my flight up by a few hours. I want to go home.
As it relates to the above, I�m cranky because I hate my fantasy football team. I drafted 7th and was in a really shitty spot. I hate my team. I was forced into picking Donovan McNabb in round 2 when the last thing I needed there was a QB with a receding hairline and no WR corps. (Did I just write that? If I ever do that again, please slap me)
I�m also cranky for other reasons. For this, I blame the following people.
Judd
RDC
DK
Why?
I�ll tell you. Hold your horses, assmonkeys.
I blame Judd because he made my office dusty yesterday. After reading about him and Asshat, pollen made my eyes watery. Damn you, you ape of a man, for making me sad. Damn you for knowing how to put that shit on paper and make it look nice and purty.
I blame RDC because she can write real good. I can tell that she struggles to try to get what she wants to say into words (Whoa�anything like that sentence???) but manages to do it so wonderfully.
On a side note, at lunch the other day, WCG , Wombat and I raised a glass to those 2 lovebirds. Not everyone agrees with what they�re doing. I think it�s cool. What you don�t do is what haunts you the most sometimes.
And, lastly, to my lovely Texas-based web buddy�you made me mad yesterday. Know why? No, it was not the comments about my manhood (all true) but it was your post yesterday. Your post made me think. Damn you straight to hell or Arkansas or someplace bad for doing so. Ooh�I�m so going to be angry at you (Makes my Weasel face and RRRRGH noises at you). You know it. Be afraid.
Go look here August 16 . I can wait.
Why do I do this? What was I trying to achieve by doing this Diaryland thing? I don�t know. It was funny, because I was thinking about it as I drove back from my sexy underpants-including lunch date. WCG mentioned �blogging about� this or that. Are we blogging? I never thought of it that way. When I think of a blog, I think of Wonkette . She comments on the news and gets election results wrong (heehee). I consider that blogging. This, Judd, The One who exudes Awesometude , Waiter Rant , and the countless others I read don�t strike me as blogs. But what are they? I think this is more of a journal than anything.
I wanted to keep one for the longest time�even made JewelrySlut buy me a nice journal with a wrap around cover and a funky smell. I love it. I never write in it. I was too lazy. Then, I got this mess started and realized that A: I type faster than I write. B: I can read what I type and not what I write. Plus, I kinda like knowing that this is out there.
So, I, like so many others, saw the album covers entry. I laughed until I shat. I kept the link for a while. I happened back to it at a later date. I went a pokin� around and was amused. Then I discovered Judd. Then I told Wombat about D-Land. Next thing I knew, I discovered Lazy McTrafficpants and I was hooked. WCG, Pimp and Feyg followed and I decided to sign up. Why though�Why???
I don�t know. I don�t think anyone NEEDS to read about my bitching or needs to validate that I think I�m funny. Hell, as long as I can amuse myself, I�m happy enough. I did it partly because I was bored at work. I also sensed good things in my future and wanted a place to chronicle them. If the rest of the world had a chance to see them, so be it.
I agree with DK about not liking people who hide behind a keyboard and act mean and nasty. I also don�t really like people who lock their dairies. Why do it in this forum if you don�t want people to see it?
So, I�m out here and I�m me. I did talk to JewelrySlut beforehand to make sure she was Ok with this. I�d be airing laundry and talking about us.
I never thought I�d actually meet anyone in person who I had met through their diaries. I figured we�d all be anonymous interned buddies.
I�m happy I have gotten to meet a few people from this place.
What do I miss about moving? I miss not being able to get together with MerlotMan and ChurchBomber and having dinner in our house and drinking too much wine. I also miss that the NoGoods and the BigPimps never got to all get together. Pimp�s pretty cool and I think our families would have had fun together.
But, I did move. And�last weekend I made a second internet friend. I like WCG, but I do think she and JewelrySlut may end up getting along a little too well. This could be bad. Like not good kind of bad.
But I also do this because I think, somewhere deep down inside my inflated sense of self worth, that maybe I can write a little bit. I was a science major in college and avoided taking any English/writing classes after my first semester. Looking back, I�m not proud or happy about that. I should have taken fewer classes about Neurochemistry (doing me a shitload of good working in Healthcare and printing!). Then, email came along. And I started having to use written words to communicate. I started liking it. Then, (and doesn�t it always seem to come back to him) I started doing my annual readings of A Pirate Looks at 50 . Since I want to be Jimmy when I grow up, I figured that if he can make himself into a readable writer, why the hell can�t I?
So, I write. I know I use too many commas and write less like writing and more like the way I talk (imagine how difficult a conversation with me really is). I�m trying to be better at getting words on paper and have them make some sense. I don�t really have any plan; I just think I�d like to be a better writer. My father�s goal in life is to draw/design/edit a crossword puzzle. It�s a noble goal. My silly non-life altering goal, is to be able to say with some confidence �I think I�m a halfway decent writer�.
So, I write.
I say poop a lot
I amuse myself and my wife.
You all are just along for the ride. Feel free to get off the ride at any time. You won�t offend the ride operator.