I�ve been meaning to get this funny tidbit down on paper all week, but keep not doing so because I claim to be busy.
The other day, the 3 of us went down to the pool. It was about 5:00, our usual pool time. We walked in the gate and there was stuff lying about. There was a yellow kid�s floatie thing. We knew that belonged to Lexie (not the stupid dog) from 3 doors down. We also saw, floating in the pool, 2 long noodles and a huge green inflatable thing. There were a few towels and other stuff just sitting there. We were puzzled.
Me: What�s going on? Why is all this stuff here?
JewelrySlut: I don�t know. Maybe it was The Rapture?
See�that�s funny as hell. Funny I tell you. Do I need to explain the joke? Go look up what the Rapture is if you don�t get it.
JewelrySlut is like a baseball slugger when it comes to comedy. She sits there gets a few hits from time to time. However, when she hits one out, it�s a titanic blast to dead center.
Me, I�m more of a singles hitter. I pepper the field with hits. None too flashy. I just hit .340 and go about my business.
One of Shmuppie�s things lately is to say �I�m thinking about saying no (or yes)�. We can�t just say �no� or �yes�. We have to make it into more of a statement of thought.
I told you that so I could tell you this:
Last night at bedtime, I was sitting in the rocking chair in her room. She announces that she want to �put her head down�. Translated to English, she wants to sit on Mommy�s lap and put her head on Mommy�s chest. Well, I�m sitting in the chair. So, JewelrySlut hands Shmuppie to me and I tell her to put her head down. She looks up at me and says �I�m thinking you should get up now�
On to the less amusing�
So, my Sainted Mother called me last night to fight back. While I was somewhat out of line, I refused to back down from the whole �You don�t get to ask to die� thing. She said that �You get more than turn at life and maybe in the next one I won�t do such a bad job�. See�this is what we�re dealing with here.
After another argument, she just said �See�did you hear that?� Apparently, she made sure that my father was in the room so he could hear her side of the conversation (as if hearing one side of an argument makes sense). I told her that I thought it was nice to drag him into our argument and that for all he knew I could be singing show tunes and she could be arguing with the phone receiver. But, she figured that if he heard one side of things, it would all be OK. I told her that I can appreciate what it was like to argue with me when I was 15. That�s how she�s acting. Everything is spit back at me with a �Well, you�re perfect so you must be right� or a �I must just be an asshole�. Boy, I can�t wait to be the proud parent of a teen aged daughter. This should be fun.
Then, we got back on the topic of her relationship with JewelrySlut. According to my mother �People don�t have to get along and sometimes personalities don�t mesh�. Now, rewind 5-8 years. The 2 of them were best pals. They�d do things together and enjoyed each other�s company. Now, we think something happened (can�t say what though). But, according to my mother they were never close. So, was she faking it? The things they did? The affection?
Finally, she demanded I put JewelrySlut on the phone. They went at it. My little woman�s got herself some pent up stuff as it deals with my mother. After a few minutes of what I can only guess was mutual yelling, I heard a �What the fuck is that supposed to mean?�
Not Good.
Apparently my mother had told JewelrySlut that she gives her leeway because �You�re adopted and your mother passed away�.
What the fuck does that mean?
Especially since my mother claims never to say anything that can be read into. She says exactly what she means and that�s it. That�s a real problem when the rest of us are intelligent to read into things. Plus, what the fuck does that mean anyway? We�ve long believed that my mother somehow holds it against JewelrySlut that she was adopted. Like it somehow makes her less of a person. Nice, eh? This all but confirmed it.
At this point, I grabbed my cell and called my father. He locked himself in a bathroom and we talked. Fortunately, he wanted no part of being in the same room and says he zoned out completely. He�s in a bad spot. He�s trying to hold everyone together so that our family doesn�t fall apart completely. He also knows that his wife is becoming increasingly unstable. He�s not having fun. We talked for a while and he was almost happy that we were talking/screaming with my mother. He hopes it�s a first step on a long road of recovery. Whatever it was, it wasn�t pretty.
The 2 of them went on and on for a while, talking at length about our move. My mother claims to miss us terribly and to have been very upset about it. She also told us that she was very worried about whether or not we�d be able to make it down here. We keep asking her why she never expressed any of this or said anything to that affect. All we got was silence. We were excited, she never said anything. How can we read into that other than to think that she didn�t care? We were excited, she was silent. Plenty of people, JewelrySlut�s father included, told us that we were insane to move like we did. But, we took the time to explain what we were doing and he understood. She never did any of that. She just clammed up and played dead.
But�ask her and this is all in our heads. We�re the crazy ones. She�s fine. I�m the bad guy who says horrible things.
Let me give an example�
She has her sewing business. She does everything from alterations to making custom drapes. If it�s got thread and fabric, she can do it. However, I think she uses this sewing like a drug addict uses heroin. She�s constantly sewing�all day�all night. It�s all she does. She does it because she 1: likes the independence (something I can understand coming from a long time say at home mother) and because 2: they need the money. Last night she told me that she works very hard to make money that they need AND that me and my family certainly benefit from it.
Tell me what that means? I read into that as �If I didn�t have to give you all that money, I wouldn�t need to work so hard to keep up the house�. Am I off base in thinking that? Apparently, I was because she went bonkers when I said that.
She tells me that I have no right to think she�s a �rich spoiled bitch�. She went off at JewelrySlut about this too. �All we have is a few hundred thousand in the bank and this house. Otherwise we have nothing.�
Read that again (knowing that the house is paid in full and is worth upwards of $800K.
Yup�I�m the bad guy.
My father told me to think about sending flowers up as a peace offering of sorts. I thought it may have been appropriate until the comments she made to JewelrySlut. JewelrySlut cried all last night, cried herself to sleep, cried during the night, woke up crying and was crying while making her tea this morning. And I�m supposed to offer the olive branch?
I know it�s the adult thing to do. I�m also starting to see that the person on the phone may sound like my mother and look like her, but I don�t think it�s her anymore. I think we need to work to get her back to being herself because she�s no longer there. Last night I got slapped by the reality of having a loved one who may be mentally ill. It is not fun at all.
There�s a long road ahead of my parents and our whole family. Sometimes it�s great to be 500 miles away, but at other times, it would be nice to be only an hour away to help my father out.
I hope this all gets better, but we may not have hit the bottom yet.