Who wants a project? I�ll give you one anyway.
We have a lot of books at our house. About 3 years ago, we got rid of a TON of books and donated them to a local thrift store. We still have a lot. Last night, not knowing exactly where we�ll be living for the next 9-12 months and what kind of storage issues we may have, I made up a box of books. Call them: Books NoGoodDaddy can�t live without for 9-12 months.
Here�s the list. Will it shed a little light on my utter psychosis? I�d link to them all, but just go to Amazon to buy them is you must.
Steven King books
The Wasteland: Book 3 of the Gunslinger Series. I love these books. I�m behind on them though and haven�t read books 5 and 6 which I believe are out. There may or may not be a book 7 in the series. I just love them.
The Stand: Just a hugely awesome book. An excellent way to pass a ton of time. It drags in spots but is very exciting in others. I�ve read it probably 4 or 5 times.
Tom Clancy books
I�ve read all of the Jack Ran books cover to cover, a few times each. I love the story. It�s totally �shut off the brain� time when you pick one of these up. Sure, Clancy�s waaaay to wordy, but he has an eerie knack for correctly predicting the future.
Clear and Present Danger: The CIA decides to start a war in Columbia. Mayhem ensues.
The Sum of all Fears: Radical Islamists detonate a nuke at the Super Bowl in an attempt to start World War 3. Hmmm�sounds eerily possible.
Executive Orders: Jack Ryan is now President (after at the end of the last book, an airliner is flown into the Capitol, killing the joint session of Congress inside) and is fighting a war against the newly-formed United Islamic Republic (Iran + Iraq) AND is fighting a terrorist-started Ebola epidemic started here at home. Hmmm�not like that�s happened yet or anything.
Bill Bryson books
A Walk in the Woods: 2 middle-aged men attempt to hike the Appalachian Trail. Mayhem ensues
A Short History of Everything: A great book. Bryson goes on to put in terms that non scientists can understand everything from the Big Bang to astronomy to chemistry, to botany to�you get the point.
My father-in-law has my copy of In a Sunburned Country, Bryson�s tales of Australia. I need that book back.
Joe Queenan books
Queenan�s awesome. He�s an evil man who loves nothing more than to publicly flog all things horrid�like Cats (the musical) or Red Lobster
If You�re Talking to Me, Your Career Must be in Trouble: An assemblage of columns from assorted magazines in which he rips on everything.
Red Lobster, White Trash and the Blue Lagoon: Do not pick this book up if you like Phil Collins or the Olive Garden. You will become mad.
My goodness: Joe decides to be nice for a year. It doesn�t work
Queenan Country: Joe goes in search of his roots in the UK. A greatly acerbic tale about England and Scotland.
Jimmy Buffett books
What? You thought I forgot. If I had only one book to take with me, it would be one of these.
Tales from Margaritaville: His first stab at a book. It�s a short story book, some fiction, some are semi-true stories. Not bad. It shows that he has writing potential
Where is Joe Merchant: His first novel. Again, not bad. It�s a little far-fetched, but that�s the whole point.
A Pirate Looks at 50: The one book I would take with me if I only had one book to take. I�ve read this book about once every 6-9 months for the past 9 years. It�s his Autobiography/travelogue of his 50th Birthday trip. I won�t get all deep-like and say the book changed who I am, but it had a deep impact on who I want to be when I grow up. And, I hope to never do so.
A Salty Piece of Land: His latest novel. It picks up where one of his earlier short stories ends. It�s a good read, filed with the islands, rum, boobies and guns.
Assorted books by assorted authors
Don�t Stop the Carnival: Herman Woulk�s tale of hotel ownership in the Islands. A great read for anyone who�s ever though of packing up and heading south of Latitude 19.
Blind Man�s Bluff: A book about the history of submarine warfare. Yes, I am a loser
The 2005 World Almanac: JewelrySlut gets me the Almanac every Christmas. Hey, you never know when you need to know the GDP of Monaco.
Following the Equator: Mark Twain�s journal/travelogue/cash cow tale of his trip�well, you can guess where.
Gray�s Anatomy: A physiology major can never be far from it (I was a physiology major). I get the feeling I�m going to be hurting myself a lot in the next months and would like to know exactly where it hurts.
The 2004-2005 Blue Ribbon College Basketball Yearbook: Write ups of all 300+ Division 1 NCAA hops teams. I order it every fall and always need last season�s version close at hand. Yes, I am a MAJOR dork.
Principles of Athletic Training: See the notes from Gray�s Anatomy
Travels with Alice: An assemblage of travel-related short stories/columns/essays by the delightful Calvin Trillin.
That�s it, folks. My list of book s I can�t be without.
What do they say about me? Well, I seem to like to escape to someplace sandy and warm through books. I have a travel jones. I like spies and exploding tings. I�m a dork.
Then again, you all knew that by now.
What�s on your list (that�s the project part)
So, we continue to fight with the people up here on the house. They want a new roof, but the inspector says that the attic is dry and the roof is not leaking. It�s looking more and more like they almost want us to escrow money for future repairs on the house. What do they want next? An extra $12000 to replace the A/C unit when it dies in 20 more years? It�s getting silly.
Meanwhile, we may know today about Raleigh. Then again, we may not.
Tomorrow, I�m supposed to find about what this stupid place�s plan is.
I packed 7 boxes last night. That�s a start. 4 boxes of books (including MY box), 1 box of photo albums and 2 boxes of coats and jackets. I�m attacking my closet tonight. If it has long sleeves, it�s going in a box or suitcase tonight. Slow and steady will win the race.
I also wrote to SecretAgentBrother yesterday. We want to crash with him the night that we close. He�s about half way to NC and, considering the Friday night traffic anywhere near DC, it would take for ever and a day to get to NC. So, I asked if we could all crash in the 2nd bedroom. I know he has a 2nd bathroom and asked if we could lock the cats in there for the night. I offered to clean the bathroom thoroughly in the AM before I left. He asked if we could leave the cats on the patio. Come on�give me a break. I know he�s an anal-retentive neat freak and all, but give me a fucking break. It�s 2 cats for 10-12 hours. We�ll see what he says. Otherwise, we have to find a hotel in the DC area. Unless anyone reading wants to board 3 people, 2 cats, 2 cars and a boatload of shit for a few hours on June 17. I just had to fax our realtor the now-infamous Inspection Report because hers was lost. Could someone tell me what we�re paying her $17000 to do? Please get back to me on that one.
Since they went over so well yesterday, another letter to a coworker:
To: The Asshat Manager whose office is right near my cube
Re: Shutting the fuck up or dying, whichever comes first
Dear Fuckwad,
Shut the fuck up and stop bitching like a titty-baby. You have no idea how fucking tired of listening to your whining I am. Must every sentence out of your mouth be a whine about one thing or another? Must you constantly pass work off to other people and claim that it�s not your job? Can you possibly get the fat fucks to my left who you apparently manage to fucking shut the fuck up? Do me a favor, go back out to your car and get another blowjob from that little mama-sita who works back in claims. We all know you�re fucking her. I mean, it�s pretty fucking obvious. She has no business being up in the office, yet there she is every day, coming by, shutting your door and then leaving 10 minutes later. And, it�s classy-like when you bring your wife and kids in to meet everyone. That�s really nice.
Eh�forget about all that. Just get lung cancer and fucking die.
Thanks,
NoGoodDaddy.
That feels good to do.
So�any good typos?