2005-04-19 - 3:28 p.m.

I�m feeling a little Andy (and by that, I mean GAY)
suddenly. Let�s think what it could be?

Hmm�

Oh yea, I know. I just heard a LeAnn Rimes song and it was followed by the lovely �Red Neck Woman�. What am I, a fag? Where�s my good music? I guess this happens when you put on a big loop of songs. You hit shit from time to time.

Mercifully, it�s no over. Ah�a little Bob. That�s always better.

That reminds me of something else that will get me called an Andy .

I have a new favorite Bob Marley song. In fact, it�s my newest favorite song. I have a lot of favorite songs. So, right now, I sooooooooooooo heart Could You Be Loved. I�ll tell you why (This is the hella gay part)

So, like 2 months ago, I�m channel surfing. I come across something on FX or some other channel of the sort. I immediately recognize that we�re looking at Hawaii, specifically, the North Shore of Oahu. Then, the music starts�.

Could you be loooooooooooooooooooooooooved

And be looooooooved

The movie was running us through Hawaii with the song as the bed for the opening scene. It was perfectly set. The right scenery, the right song.

Anyone guess the movie yet?

Yup, it was Blue Crush .

I�ll say it first.

Feyg.

There I was on the precipice of being sucked into Blue Crush. Fortunately I think JewelrySlut clubbed me with her He�s watching bad TV again and I need to knock him out soon stick. It�s not all that large of a stick, so you can imagine how small the writing is. Needless to say, I was spared from the rest of what was undoubtedly a horrid movie.

Speaking of the aforementioned stick, she needs to get it out.

I taped Revelations last week. Shit, does that look bad. I HAVE to see it.

Just got this email from JewelrySlut:
I have a color consultation at 6:00 tomorrow. We�ll have to figure out what to do with the kid. I guess I�ll strap her into the stroller with some juice and snacks and books or something.
Holy shit. I have no idea what that means. Seriously, I have no clue. I hope she writes back soon and fills me in.

So, I have a meeting with RedHeadedCockgobbler in an hour. The Outlook invite said �Talk about the future�. Um�..are we going to discuss when we�ll see flying cars become a staple of personal transportation? When robots will rule the Earth?

Wow�that certainly clears things up.

Ok�now that that�s settled, back to the meeting.

This should go swimmingly. See, me and her have an understanding. She leaves me alone and just accepts that I do things my own way. I don�t follow rules or SOPs or fill in checklists or collect metrics or do any bullshit. I just do. Right after I started and she was trying to get me to adhere to some dopey SOP I told her straight out �If you don�t think I�m capable of thinking for myself and doing my job, go see RecentlyDepartedManager and tell him to fire me. Otherwise, you have to trust that I know how to do this job and will do it well�. That shut her up. Now I work for her. This can�t end well. I told myself back when that if the day ever came when I�d be working for her I�d leave this place immediately. Well, immediately may not be possible, but it�s coming soon.

So, in the span of a little over a month or so, I�ve had 3 bosses and been told about 4 things about my future here. In this time, I�ve managed to drive JewelrySlut utterly crazy with my machinations. If you ask me right now, I�d say that we�re headed back to NC because this fucking place makes me sick. I�m now working for someone who couldn�t tell you what I did if her life depended on it. But I�m sure she�s going to ask me how my checklists are doing.

Ugh.

I�m still not feeling it this week. You know how it gets when you�re playing basketball and you just don�t feel it suddenly? You usually can hit everything from allover the court and suddenly it�s like they put a lid on the rim?

No?

Me neither.

I�m a balding white man. I can�t play basketball to save my life.

I blame the allergies (not for the basketball thing, that�s got to be more genetics than anything. That and utter lack of fine motor control. You should watch me have sex�well, maybe you shouldn�t�with the drooling and flailing�it�s probably not pretty. Plus, I have a hairy ass). I�m wiped out. I�m tired and my head feels like it weight 300 lbs, but is also floating. It�s not fun. This day has been eternal. Time has ceased to move forward at this point. It�s just dragging�I could really use a nap.

Well, I think I�ll just drive this train off the tracks all the way. It�s been headed that way for a while now.