So, I had 2 interviews up at the Ivory Toweresque main offices of HealthcareRelatedCompany on Tuesday. They were for the same job, but working on 2 different teams. One took 15 minutes; the other took 1 hour and 15 minutes. The longer one was amusing. The interviewer spent most of the time twisting my words. I became irritated and did my best to stay on message and not look as annoyed as I was. Who the hell knows how I did? I don�t. I also don�t think I care. I don�t think I�d really want either job. They�re going to add 2o miles each way to my commute and likely make me work longer hours�for no pay increase. Plus, I think I may be able to cling to this job for a little longer. If I can convince FearlessDirector to let me get some new software, I may really be in business and do some good for once.
Now, that all came after the morning and evening before from hell. When I left on Monday night, I went to grab my bag so I could load it up with resumes and presentation materials (I also had to sales pitches to give). No bag�hmmm�that�s odd. So I went home and looked where the bag would be were it home. It wasn�t there. So I asked JewelrySlut where she�d be were she my bag. �Under the desk where it always is�right?� Sorry�not there. We proceeded to pull the house apart. I looked everywhere in the house. Don�t you love it when you lose something and then start looking in stupid places for it? I looked in the luggage closet, the garage, the laundry room, the spare bedroom, my closet, Shmuppie�s room. You name it, I looked for it. It was gone. I emailed Wombat and had him look again at my desk. Nothing.
Now I was pissed.
See, our lovely company recently changed cleaning people vendors. Shortly thereafter, someone had their eyeglasses stolen. Who the fuck steals eyeglasses? Then, someone else had their laptop stolen. I�ll add that this happened over a weekend when Wombat was working. Coincidence or cosmic phenomena? You decide. Now, my bag is gone. So you say �Quit bitching NoGood, it�s just a bag.� Well, it wasn�t. It was a college graduation gift from JewelrySlut�s Mother. She passed away this summer and it was one of about 3 things I still have that I got from her. The other 2 are articles of clothing that will soon not fit or fray to nothingness. That�s what really sucks. It was a very nice bag and now it�s gone. It meant a lot to me and that�s gone. JewelrySlut�s very upset about this too. After I got the bag, my mother-in-law wanted to take it back because she liked it so much. Ugh�I�m getting really pissed off again just thinking about it. Oh�it also had one of my good luck charms in it: my Yoda. When I say my Yoda, I mean my original Yoda figure from 1982. He even had on his little robe. His little stick was long ago vacuumed, but he remained and gave me the power of the force on interviews, trade shows and sales calls.
Did I mention how pissed I am?
So, on Tuesday morning, I left the house extra early because I wanted to go back to work on the way to the meeting to check again. Well, the traffic sucked anus because it was raining. I also had to go back to the DMV for my reinspection. Let�s say that I hate the DMV. I failed again. Seems I now have a brake light out. What are the chances that it blew from Thursday to Tuesday? Slim and none I think. I believe the DMV is fucking with me. They also made me wait in the main line and not in the reinspection line. I hate them!
And THEN�it started snowing here in lovely New Jersey. Needless to say, the state lost its collective mind and started driving into bridge abutments. Fuck�I hate living here. I really HATE living here. I REALLY REALLY REALLY hate living here. But that�s another story.
But, there is a little good to all this. I had my review recently and did well. There�s even a coming long weekend of drinking and sex in my near future as a result. (That makes me sound like a sober celibate on normal weekends. That would not be the case. We usually drink too much to have sex though).
Anyhoo..in conclusion, I really think I heard this exchange while I was eating lunch today. I don�t even know why I go to lunch in the lunchroom. It�s like a scene out of Dangerous Minds or something.
Person 1: What kind of cheese is that?�
Person 2 (Who happened to be one half of The Eclipse. See that day�s comments from Wombat and I) �Gubmint�
I fucking swear to God, I heard it.